Mediation vs Conciliation, What’s the Difference? (UK Guide)

Mediation vs Conciliation

If you have been reading about ways to settle a dispute out of court, the mediation vs conciliation question comes up a lot, and the two terms are often used to mean the same thing. They are not the same, and the difference matters, because it changes who is in charge of the outcome. If you are separating or divorcing and want how it all works laid out first, that guide is a good place to start. If you just want the difference explained in plain English, keep reading.

This guide explains what each process is, what conciliation means in the UK, how the two compare side by side, and which one applies if your dispute is about family, finances or your children.

What is the difference between mediation and conciliation?

Both mediation and conciliation are forms of alternative dispute resolution, which simply means ways of settling a disagreement without a judge deciding it for you. In both, an impartial third party helps two sides talk and try to reach an agreement. The difference between mediation and conciliation comes down to what that third party is allowed to do.

Here is the short version:

• Mediation: the mediator keeps things neutral. They guide the conversation, ask questions, share legal information and keep the discussion on track, but they do not advise either person or suggest what the answer should be. You and the other person stay in control and make your own decisions.
• Conciliation: the conciliator takes a more active role. As well as helping the two sides communicate, they will offer their own view, make suggestions and may put forward proposed terms for a settlement. The parties do not have to accept them, but the conciliator does steer things towards a particular outcome.

So in mediation, the solution comes from you. In conciliation, the solution is more likely to be suggested to you. A mediator empowers both people to decide for themselves. A conciliator is more evaluative and will nudge you towards a resolution based on their own assessment of the situation.

There is also a practical difference in how the sessions run. Mediation usually brings both people into the same room, or the same video call, so they can talk directly with the mediator guiding them. Conciliation often relies more on the conciliator moving between the two sides, sometimes speaking to each separately and carrying messages and proposals back and forth.

What does conciliation mean in the UK?

This is where a lot of the confusion starts, because the conciliation meaning in the UK is a little different from how the word is used elsewhere. In the UK, conciliation is most strongly associated with employment disputes rather than family ones.

The main provider is ACAS, the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service. If you have a dispute with your employer, ACAS offers a free conciliation service to try to settle it. Before most claims can go to an employment tribunal, you have to notify ACAS and go through what is called early conciliation, where a conciliator talks to both sides to see if the matter can be resolved without a hearing. You can read the government overview of mediation, conciliation and arbitration for workplace disputes on GOV.UK.

So if someone in the UK talks about conciliation, they usually mean an employment matter heading towards a tribunal, not a family separation. The word also appears in commercial and construction disputes. It is rarely the right word for a couple sorting out finances or arrangements for their children.

Was conciliation the old word for family mediation?

Yes, and this is the part most articles miss. Back in the 1970s and 1980s, what we now call family mediation was often called conciliation. There were conciliation services and, in some family courts, in court conciliation appointments where a welfare officer would try to help separating parents reach agreement about their children.

Over time the profession settled on the word mediation, partly to make it clear that the process is facilitative and that the mediator does not impose a view. That history is why the two words still get tangled up. If an older relative or an out of date leaflet tells you to book conciliation for your divorce, what they are describing is what the sector now calls family mediation.

How do mediation and conciliation compare, side by side?

The table below sets out the mediation vs conciliation differences at a glance. Keep in mind that both are voluntary, both are confidential, and both are designed to keep you out of a courtroom.

As you can see, the processes overlap a great deal. The dividing line is really the third party. If you want to keep control and reach your own decisions, that points to mediation. If you want someone to weigh things up and suggest a way forward, that points to conciliation.

Which applies to divorce and family disputes, mediation or conciliation?

For separation and divorce in England and Wales, the process is family mediation. It is what the courts expect couples to try before asking a judge to decide, and it is what almost every family dispute resolution service in the country offers. You will not find a family conciliation service on your high street, because the sector moved to the word mediation decades ago.

In most cases, before you can apply to court about finances or child arrangements, you have to attend a MIAM first. A MIAM, or Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, is a short meeting where a mediator explains your options and checks whether mediation could work for you. This requirement comes from the Children and Families Act 2014. You can read more about what happens at a MIAM in our full guide.

Family mediation can cover almost anything you need to sort out when a relationship ends:

• Arrangements for the children: where they live, how time is shared, holidays and schooling
• Finances: the family home, savings, pensions, debts and any ongoing support
• Practical handovers: how you will communicate and co-parent going forward

Cost is often a worry, so it helps to know there is support available. For cases involving arrangements for children, the government family mediation voucher scheme offers a one off contribution of up to £500 per family towards the cost of mediation. It is not means tested, and only an FMC authorised mediator can apply it for you. The scheme is run by the Family Mediation Council (as of July 2026). Some people also qualify for legal aid, which is means tested. You can see whether you might be eligible using our own legal aid checker.

How do you make a mediation agreement legally binding?

A common question with both mediation and conciliation is whether the outcome sticks. On its own, an agreement reached in family mediation is not automatically legally binding. Your mediator writes it up in a document called a Memorandum of Understanding, which records what you have agreed. To make a financial agreement binding, you turn it into a consent order and ask the court to approve it. You can read how this works in our guide to making mediated agreements legally binding.

This is one of the strengths of mediation. Because you built the agreement yourselves, it is more likely to reflect what actually works for your family, and a judge will usually approve a fair consent order without either of you having to attend a hearing.

Should you choose mediation or conciliation?

For most people, the choice is made for them by the type of dispute:

• A family or divorce matter: choose family mediation. It is the standard process, it is what the courts expect, and it keeps you in control of decisions about your money and your children.
• An employment dispute: conciliation through ACAS will usually be the route, and early conciliation is a required step before most tribunal claims.
• A commercial or workplace disagreement: either may be offered, so ask whether you want the third party to stay neutral or to suggest a settlement.

If you are separating, you do not really have a mediation vs conciliation decision to make. Family mediation is the process built for you, and it comes with funding help, court recognition and a clear way to make your agreement binding.

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