Joint Mediation
Joint mediation is a session where you and your ex-partner meet together with one mediator, usually by video, to work through what you need to decide. It is the format most couples use, because talking it through together is quicker, cheaper and more likely to produce an agreement that lasts. Our mediators are members of the Family Mediation Council, and 90% of couples who attend joint mediation reach a full or partial agreement.
- You and your ex-partner meet together with one impartial mediator
- Sessions last 90 minutes, and most couples need two to four
- Works for children, finances, property or all three
Joint mediation is the standard way family mediation works, and the starting point for all the types of mediation we offer. After you have each had your own MIAM separately, you come together in a session with one mediator who stays impartial throughout. The mediator does not take sides, give either of you advice, or decide anything. Their job is to keep the conversation productive, make sure you both get heard, and help you reach decisions you can both live with.
Most people are apprehensive about the first joint session, and that is completely normal. In practice it is far more structured and far less confrontational than people expect. There is an agenda, the mediator sets the ground rules at the start, and nobody is left to argue unchecked. 95% of our sessions happen online, so you join from home rather than sitting in a waiting room together.
What happens in a joint session
- The mediator sets out the ground rules and agrees the agenda with you both
- You work through one issue at a time, rather than everything at once
- Information and figures are shared openly, so you are both working from the same picture
- Options are explored without either of you being held to them
- Anything you agree is written up afterwards, and you can take legal advice before signing anything
Why do most couples choose joint mediation?
Nothing is decided for you
Quicker than any alternative
The cheapest way to reach agreement
Better for the years ahead
Accredited and regulated
You leave with something in writing
Get up to £500 towards your mediation
Is joint mediation suitable for us?
For most separating couples, yes. Your mediator checks this with each of you at your MIAM, confidentially and before anything is arranged, and nothing goes ahead without your agreement.
Joint mediation usually works well where:
- You can both be in the same conversation, even if things are strained
- You are both willing to share financial information openly
- Neither of you feels pressured or unsafe speaking freely
- You both want to reach an agreement, even if you disagree about what it should be
- Any communication difficulties can be managed with the mediator’s help
How does the Mediation Process Work?
Your MIAM
Joint sessions begin
Working through the issues
Your written outcome
Make it legal
Start with your MIAM
Book your first appointment online in a few minutes, at a time that suits you. You attend on your own, and if mediation is suitable we will invite the other party afterwards.
Do we have to be in the same room?
No. 95% of our mediation sessions happen online, and where being in the same space would be too difficult, we use shuttle mediation, where you stay in separate rooms and the mediator moves between you.
You join from home by video, so there is no travel, no waiting room, and no chance of arriving awkwardly at the same time. If you would rather meet face to face, in-person mediation is available at more than 30 offices across England and Wales, and shuttle mediation keeps you in separate rooms or on separate calls where that is the safer option.
How much does joint mediation cost?
Free
Up to £500
£120 +VAT
All members of the Family Mediation Council
What families say about working with us
“The joint mediation meeting with my ex was completed professionally and as pain free, and due to us both having all the information at hand we agreed in the meeting what we wanted so only had one joint meeting which kept costs down. Throughout the process the communication has been fantastic and I have felt supported throughout.”
“We are both in the very early stages of starting divorce proceedings and we spoke as a couple to Mediate UK for our free 30 minute consultation. We both found it very useful and are virtually certain that we are going to use this company to start mediation talks properly. Mediate UK were very patient and thorough.”
“I found Mediate UK calm, efficient and cost effective. It can be an emotional time but Christine made the process respectful and calm to both parties. A very civil way to end a marriage.”
Joint mediation: common questions
Joint mediation is a session where both of you meet together with one impartial mediator to work through the decisions you need to make. It is the standard format for family mediation, used for child arrangements, finances, property or all of them together. Sessions usually last 90 minutes, most take place by video, and most couples need between two and four. The mediator does not advise either of you or decide anything. Everything agreed is yours to agree.
No. 95% of our sessions happen online, so you each join by video from wherever you are, with no travel and no waiting room. Where being in the same conversation would be too difficult, shuttle mediation keeps you in separate rooms or on separate calls with the mediator moving between you. The hourly rate is the same, though a shuttle session usually runs to two hours rather than 90 minutes because everything has to be relayed twice, which is why we suggest a joint session first where it is safe and comfortable to do so.
That is what the mediator is there to prevent. Sessions are structured, with an agenda agreed at the start and ground rules everyone signs up to, and you work through one issue at a time rather than everything at once. If things become heated, the mediator will step in, take a break, or move you into separate rooms for part of the session. Most couples are surprised by how much calmer it is than they feared, and 90% of couples who attend joint mediation reach a full or partial agreement.
Yes, with one exception. Discussions in mediation are confidential and proposals are made without prejudice, so nothing either of you says can be repeated in court and you can explore an idea without being held to it. The exception is financial disclosure, which is open, meaning the figures can be shown to the court. Confidentiality also does not apply where there is a risk of harm to a child or an adult.
Not on its own. Mediation produces a written summary of what you have agreed, which is not a court order. Where finances are involved, that summary can be drafted into a consent order and approved by a judge, at which point it is binding. Arrangements for children can also be recorded in a consent order if you want that certainty, though many parents are happy with a written parenting plan. We can arrange the legal drafting for you at a fixed fee.
Ready to sit down and sort it out?
Most couples reach agreement in two to four joint sessions. Book your MIAM to get started, or take a free 15-minute call first if you would rather talk it through.
Need something specific? Book an urgent MIAM, check your legal aid eligibility, or call us on 0330 999 0959.
Other types of mediation
Child Inclusive Mediation
Child inclusive mediation gives your child a safe, confidential space to say how the arrangements actually feel to them. A specially trained mediator meets your child on their own, then feeds back what they want you both to know, with nothing shared without their permission. You make decisions based on what your child really thinks, not what you each assume.
Co-Mediation
Co-mediation puts two mediators in the room instead of one, which helps when a case is complex, emotionally charged, or covers both children and finances. You get two sets of skills, a better balance in the room and far less chance of getting stuck. In many cases there is no extra cost to you at all.
In Person Mediation
In person mediation brings you both together in the same room with your mediator, which many people find easier than talking through a screen. You sit down face to face, work through the issues in order, and leave with decisions written up the same day. It suits couples who can be in a room together and want it settled.