Holidays, Christmas &
Special Occasions
Christmas, the summer holidays and birthdays are where most co-parenting arrangements come under strain, usually because nobody agreed them in advance. Our family mediators help you set out who has the children for each occasion, how you alternate year on year, and how holidays abroad are agreed, so the dates are settled long before they come round.
- Christmas and school holidays agreed years in advance
- Clear rules for taking the children abroad
- Book flights without waiting on a court date
A weekly routine can be working perfectly well and still fall apart at Christmas. School holidays, festivals and birthdays sit outside the ordinary week, which is why they cause more disagreements than anything else once parents have separated. Mediation is where you settle them properly, with a rotation you can both look at years ahead rather than negotiating from scratch every December. Holiday and Christmas arrangements can be agreed on their own or as part of our wider child arrangements mediation service.
Foreign travel is the other reason parents come to us for this. If the other parent has parental responsibility, you generally need their written consent to take your child out of the UK, so it is worth agreeing how that works before you start looking at flights. Mediation is the route the family court expects you to try first, and in most cases you need to attend a MIAM before you can apply.
Holiday arrangements at a glance
- What it covers: school holidays, Christmas and New Year, Easter, half terms, birthdays, religious festivals, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and travel abroad.
- How long it takes: most parents settle the holiday calendar in one or two joint sessions, or as part of a full parenting plan.
- What it costs: free if you qualify for legal aid, or up to £500 towards your joint sessions through the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme.
- What you end up with: a written rotation with named years, notice periods for booking, and what information is shared before a trip.
- Taking a child abroad: you need the written consent of everyone with parental responsibility, or permission from the court, unless a child arrangements order says the child lives with you.
- The law: the Children Act 1989 and the Child Abduction Act 1984, with your child’s welfare as the paramount consideration.
Why agree holidays in mediation rather than in court?
You keep control
It is faster than court
It costs far less
Better for your children
Regulated and insured
Can be made legally binding
Get up to £500 towards your mediation
Do we have to be in the same room?
No. 95% of our mediation sessions happen online, and where being in the same space would be too difficult, we use shuttle mediation, where you stay in separate rooms and the mediator moves between you.
You join from home by video, so there is no travel, no waiting room, and no chance of arriving awkwardly at the same time. Shuttle mediation goes further. You are in separate rooms, or on separate calls, and your mediator carries the questions, offers and replies between you. The hourly rate is the same, though a shuttle session usually runs to two hours rather than 90 minutes, because everything has to be relayed twice.
That is why we suggest a joint session first where it is safe and comfortable to do so, as it is usually quicker and costs less. Your mediator will talk this through with you at your MIAM, and you decide together which format suits you, so nothing is arranged without your agreement.
How does the Mediation Process Work?
Your MIAM
Joint sessions begin
Build Arrangements
Your parenting plan
Make it legal
Start the process now
Book your first appointment online in a few minutes, at a time that suits you.
Can the agreement be made legally binding?
Yes. A holiday rotation and any agreement about travel abroad can be included in a child arrangements order, which the family court approves and which is then enforceable. Many parents also record written consent for a specific trip, which is what a border officer or an airline may ask to see.
On its own, a parenting plan is a clear written record but is not automatically binding, and for most families that is all they ever need. If you would prefer the certainty of a court-backed arrangement, our solicitor partners can draft your agreement as a consent application and submit it to the family court. Once a judge is satisfied the arrangements are in your child’s best interests, and that an order is of benefit to the child, it becomes a child arrangements order. You can read more in our guide to child arrangements.
How much does child arrangements mediation cost?
Free
Up to £500
£120 +VAT
Most families need two to four joint sessions to agree a full parenting plan.
Making your plan legally binding is charged separately.
All members of the Family Mediation Council
What families say about working with us
“Would not recommend anyone else for family mediation – a really sticky issue was resolved and everyone is now actually on speaking terms – 5 star in my book.”
“My mediator adopted a professional but warm approach to our discussion. I felt that I was being listened to and that the outcome would be a considered and fair one. Many thanks.”
“Our mediator really cared and went beyond the call of duty to help us go through this very difficult time as painlessly as possible.”
Holidays and special occasions: common questions
Usually yes. If the other parent has parental responsibility, you need their written consent to take your child out of the UK. The exception is where a child arrangements order says the children live with you, which allows you to take them abroad for up to one month unless the order says otherwise. Going without the right consent can amount to child abduction, even for a short holiday.
There are two common patterns. Some alternate the whole of Christmas year on year, so one parent has Christmas Eve through to Boxing Day this year and the other has it next year. Others split the day itself, with a handover around lunchtime. Whichever suits your family, name the years in writing so there is nothing to argue about in November.
Most parents split the six weeks into blocks of one or two weeks each, alternating who goes first. The part that matters is the deadline: agreeing that dates are exchanged by, say, the end of March means you can both book flights and childcare without waiting on each other.
If they have parental responsibility and will not consent, you cannot travel without permission from the court. Where a refusal is unreasonable, you can apply for a specific issue order on a C100 form, which costs £270 as of July 2026, and you will normally need a MIAM certificate first. Mediation is quicker and far cheaper, and usually gets to the real objection.
Dates, destination, travel details, the address where you are staying and a contact number. It is also worth agreeing how the children will keep in touch with the other parent while they are away, as that is often the underlying worry rather than the trip itself.
Everyone with parental responsibility must consent for a child’s passport to be issued, so one refusal blocks it. If that happens, only a specific issue order can resolve it. In mediation you can also settle who keeps the passport between trips, which is frequently the real dispute.
They are worth including and they are usually the easiest part. Most parents agree Mother’s Day with mum and Father’s Day with dad, then either split the child’s birthday or alternate it. Religious festivals and family occasions can be built in the same way.
Start with a conversation, as delays are often practical rather than deliberate. A parenting plan is not enforceable, but a child arrangements order is, and a court can attach a warning notice to it. If a child is not returned from abroad, take legal advice straight away, as that is treated very differently.
Ready to agree holiday arrangements?
Most parents have a working agreement in place within a few weeks, and many pay nothing at all. Book your MIAM to get started, or take a free 15-minute call first if you would rather talk it through.
Need something specific? Book an urgent MIAM, check your legal aid eligibility, or call us on 0330 999 0959.
Related child arrangements services
Co-Parenting & Weekly Schedules
Co-parenting mediation helps separated parents build a week-by-week routine that works for both homes. Together you agree where the children stay each night, how handovers work and how you share school runs, so daily life stays calm and predictable. You leave with a clear parenting plan your children can rely on and you can both follow.
Children’s Name Changes
Name change mediation helps separated parents reach a decision about a child's surname or first name without going to court. Together you look at what the change would mean for school, passports and medical records, and what feels right for your child. You leave with a written agreement you have both signed, rather than a stalemate that drags on for months.
New Partners & Blended Families
Mediation helps separated parents work out how new partners fit into their children's lives. Together you agree when introductions happen, what role a step-parent plays day to day, and how you handle stepsiblings, house rules and time as a bigger family. You both leave knowing where you stand, and your children get a calmer start in both homes.