Should I Get a Divorce? Free 25-Question Checklist | Mediate UK

If you are reading this, you are perhaps at a crossroads. Maybe you have been unhappy for some time. Perhaps something specific has happened. Perhaps you are not sure whether what you are feeling is a rough patch or something more permanent. All of those feelings are valid, and taking the time to think carefully rather than act impulsively is always the right approach.

This page will walk you through the key questions, give you honest information about what divorce involves in England and Wales in 2026, and offer a free 25-question self-assessment checklist to help you reflect on your situation. For the full legal process, read our complete guide to getting a divorce in England and Wales.

The Reality of Divorce in England and Wales

There were 105,002 divorces granted in England and Wales in 2025, according to the Office for National Statistics. Over the past few decades, around 4 in 10 marriages have ended in divorce, and marriages now last a record median of 13 years before they end. Each of those statistics represents a real person, in a real situation, making one of the hardest decisions of their life.

Since no-fault divorce came into force in April 2022, the process has become significantly less adversarial. You no longer need to assign blame, prove fault, or give details of any conduct. You simply apply on the basis that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Joint applications are now possible, and the minimum period between application and conditional order is 20 weeks.

That change matters, because it means the legal process no longer has to inflame an already difficult situation. It also means that people who previously felt stuck, particularly those in controlling relationships, now have a clearer path forward.

Financial Considerations in 2026

Financial concerns are one of the most common reasons people hesitate to divorce, and they are legitimate concerns worth thinking through carefully. Research by Legal and General found that almost half of divorcees experience around a 31% reduction in income after separating. Funding two households from what previously funded one is a real challenge.

The court fee for a divorce application is currently £628. Stamp Duty changes that came into effect in April 2025 have also made property transitions more expensive for many people. A £600,000 property, for example, now attracts £20,000 in Stamp Duty.

However, financial concerns should not be the primary reason to stay in a marriage that is making you or your children unhappy or unsafe. Family mediation can help explore creative solutions, including continuing to co-own the family home temporarily, offsetting pension assets against property equity, structured maintenance arrangements, and phased transition plans. Our guide to financial settlements on divorce covers all of the options in detail.

What About the Children?

For many parents, concern about the impact on their children is the single biggest reason they stay in an unhappy marriage. It is worth understanding what the research actually shows.

Studies consistently find that it is not divorce itself that harms children, but ongoing conflict and how the separation is managed. Children in high-conflict households, whether the parents stay together or separate, are more likely to experience emotional and behavioural difficulties than children whose parents separate amicably.

Children do better when parents maintain respectful communication, preserve routines and stability, keep children out of adult disputes, and remain actively involved in their lives. They suffer most when they witness constant arguments, are asked to take sides, or have their needs made secondary to adult conflict.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 also recognises that children who see, hear, or experience the effects of domestic abuse are themselves victims of that abuse. Staying in an unsafe or highly conflicted household is not a neutral choice for children.

Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Infidelity is one of the most common reasons people ask whether they should divorce, but it does not automatically mean the end of a marriage. Research suggests that around 53% of marriages that have experienced infidelity are able to recover, and between 60 and 75% of couples who engage in couples therapy after an affair go on to rebuild their relationship.

Recovery is most likely when both partners are genuinely committed to rebuilding trust, the unfaithful partner takes full responsibility without minimising, professional counselling is sought promptly, and the underlying issues that contributed to the affair are addressed honestly. It is hardest when the unfaithful partner continues to lie, repeat infidelities occur, or the betrayed partner cannot move past the betrayal despite genuine and sustained effort.

The sooner you engage in counselling after an affair, the better the outcomes tend to be. Many couples report a deeper, more honest relationship afterwards, though that is by no means guaranteed and requires real commitment from both sides.

Understanding Domestic Abuse and Coercive Control

If your relationship involves controlling or abusive behaviour, this is not simply a marital problem. It is a safety issue. Controlling or coercive behaviour has been a criminal offence in England and Wales since 2015, and from February 2025, offenders convicted and sentenced to 12 months or more are automatically managed under multi-agency public protection arrangements.

Coercive control can include taking control of everyday decisions, restricting access to money or friends and family, monitoring your phone or online activity, and creating a persistent sense of fear. If any of this sounds familiar, please reach out to a specialist support service. Leaving safely requires careful planning and specialist help, and that help is available.

Free Checklist: Should I Get a Divorce?

Answer each question honestly with Yes or No. Count your Yes answers at the end for your result.

This checklist is a thinking tool, not a diagnosis. Only you can make this decision.

Your Results: Count Your Yes Answers

What Happens If You Decide to Divorce?

If you have decided that divorce is the right path, the way you approach the process from the beginning will have a significant impact on how difficult or manageable it feels, and how much it costs. There are three things worth doing early:

1. Understand your options for reaching agreement. Most people assume court is inevitable. It is not. Family mediation helps separating couples agree on children, finances, and property with the help of a neutral professional, without the cost and conflict of court proceedings. The government’s £500 voucher scheme is available for disputes involving children and has been extended into 2027.

2. Get some legal advice early. Understanding your rights and obligations, particularly around finances, property and pensions, gives you a clearer picture before you agree to anything. Our fixed-fee legal advice packages are designed for exactly this, providing specific written advice at a predictable cost.

3. Protect any financial agreement with a consent order. A verbal or informal agreement is not legally binding. A consent order makes your financial settlement legally binding and provides a clean break, protecting you both permanently.

The Positive Side of Divorce

Divorce is not always a negative event. For many people, it is the beginning of a chapter that is genuinely better than anything that came before. Freedom from daily conflict. A peaceful home. The space to pursue a life that actually fits. The opportunity to show children that prioritising their own wellbeing is something adults are allowed to do.

In our experience helping over 23,000 clients through divorce and separation, we have seen countless people look back on the decision to end an unhappy marriage as one of the best they ever made. That does not make the process easy. But it does mean there is hope on the other side of it.

Frequently Asked Questions

This article contains general information only and should not be treated as legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, please consult a qualified family law solicitor.