Do You Have to Go to Mediation Before Court?

If you are wondering whether you have to try mediation before court, the short answer is that mediation itself is not compulsory, but there are steps the family court does expect you to take first. Over the past couple of years the rules have changed, and there is a lot of out of date information online suggesting mediation is about to become mandatory. It is not. This guide explains what is actually required before you can apply to court, what changed in April 2024, what judges now expect, and what happens if you refuse to try resolving things out of court.

Do you have to go to mediation before court in the UK?

No, you do not have to go through full mediation before court. Mediation is voluntary, and you cannot be forced to sit down with your ex and reach an agreement. What you usually do have to do is attend a MIAM before you apply to court, and, since 2024, show the court that you have at least thought about resolving the dispute another way. Mediation remains the option the courts and the government most actively encourage, but encouraging something is not the same as making it compulsory.

In short, there is a difference between attending a MIAM, which is required in most cases, and taking part in joint mediation sessions, which is your choice. You can find out more about how the process works in our ultimate guide to family mediation.

Is family mediation mandatory before court?

This is where a lot of confusion comes from. In March 2023 the government opened a consultation on whether to make family mediation mandatory before court in suitable cases. After reviewing the responses, the decision announced in January 2024 was not to introduce compulsory mediation. One of the main concerns was the risk to victims of domestic abuse, who could have felt pressured into mediating with an abuser. So family mediation is not, and is not about to become, mandatory.

Instead of compulsion, the government chose to push mediation and other out of court options harder through the court rules and the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, which still offers up to £500 towards mediation costs for eligible families and has been extended to March 2026. The message is consistent: court should be a last resort, not the first step.

What is mandatory before court: the MIAM

While mediation is voluntary, attending a MIAM is not. Under the Children and Families Act 2014, anyone wanting to apply to court over child arrangements or finances must usually attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting first, unless a valid exemption applies. This has been the law since 2014.

What is a MIAM?

A MIAM is a short, individual meeting with an accredited family mediator. The mediator explains your options for resolving the dispute, including mediation and other forms of NCDR, and assesses whether your case is suitable. The mediator does not take sides or give legal advice. If you then decide not to mediate, or your case is not suitable, the mediator can sign the form you need to apply to court. Our guide to attending a MIAM walks through exactly what to expect, and you can check whether you are likely to need one using our do I need a MIAM tool.

Are there exemptions to attending a MIAM?

Yes. You may not need to attend a MIAM where there is evidence of domestic abuse, where the matter is urgent, where there is a risk to a child, or in certain other situations. Since April 2024 the rules around these exemptions have been tightened, and you now have to provide evidence to support an exemption, with the court able to check whether it was validly claimed. There are 15 recognised exemptions in total, which we set out in full in our guide to the exemptions to attending a MIAM.

What changed in April 2024: NCDR and Form FM5

Rather than make mediation compulsory, the government strengthened the Family Procedure Rules from 29 April 2024. The changes widened the definition of non-court dispute resolution and gave judges more power to expect couples to use it. This is the practical answer to the question of whether you need to try mediation before court: you are not forced to mediate, but you are now firmly expected to consider the alternatives to court and to be able to show what you have done.

What the Family Procedure Rules update means

• Judges can pause your case: the court can adjourn proceedings to give you time to try NCDR, even if one party would rather press on to a hearing.
• NCDR is considered at every stage: the court must keep asking whether out of court resolution is suitable, not just at the start.
• Costs consequences: an unreasonable refusal to engage in NCDR can be taken into account when the court decides who pays the legal costs.
• Tighter MIAM exemptions: you now have to evidence any exemption you rely on.

Form FM5 and showing what NCDR you have tried

One of the most practical changes is Form FM5. In most cases you now have to file this form, usually at least seven days before your first hearing, setting out what non-court dispute resolution you have attempted and, if you have not tried any, why not. It is a clear signal of how seriously the courts now take out of court resolution. You can read more in our guide to what Form FM5 is and how to complete it.

What counts as non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)?

NCDR, which used to be called alternative dispute resolution (ADR), is the umbrella term for all the ways of resolving a family dispute without a judge deciding for you. Mediation is the best known and most widely used, but it is not the only option. The recognised forms include mediation, collaborative law, arbitration, neutral evaluation, a private FDR, and solicitor-led negotiation. Our guide to non-court dispute resolution explains each method and when it tends to work best.

Knowing where you stand can make any of these routes more productive. If you would value an independent, expert view on what a court might decide, before you spend time and money on a hearing, an AI Barrister Review can give you a realistic assessment of your case.

What judges say about going to court too soon

The push toward resolving disputes out of court is not just policy, it comes through clearly in the judgments themselves. A few cases show the direction of travel.

In a judgment published on 25 September 2020, His Honour Judge Wildblood QC criticised the use of the family court for unnecessary and disproportionate private law disputes. He gave real examples that had come before him, including which junction of the M4 a child should be handed over at, and which parent should hold the children’s passports. His message to parties and lawyers was direct: do not bring private law litigation to the family court unless it is genuinely necessary, settle your differences away from court where possible, and expect criticism and possible sanctions if you do not.

In a separate judgment in March 2021, Mr Justice Mostyn deprived an applicant of 50% of the costs award he would otherwise have made in her favour, because she had not negotiated openly and reasonably outside court. As he put it, litigants must learn that they will suffer a cost penalty if they do not negotiate openly and reasonably.

More recently, in NA v LA [2024] EWFC 113, the court went a step further and placed a hold, known as a stay, on the proceedings to require the parties to engage in NCDR, rather than letting the case continue straight to a hearing. It was one of the first examples of the court using its strengthened powers under the updated rules.

What happens if you refuse to try mediation before court?

You cannot be forced to mediate, but refusing to engage with any form of NCDR without a good reason now carries real risk. The court can adjourn your case to give you time to try, which delays the outcome you wanted, and it can take an unreasonable refusal into account when deciding costs, which can mean paying some of the other party’s legal fees. Judges will also ask, in person and through Form FM5, what efforts you have made to resolve matters away from court. Acting reasonably and being able to show it is now an important part of how your case is viewed.

The courts are also under real pressure. Encouraging families to settle disputes about child arrangements and finances on divorce out of court frees up hearing time for the cases that genuinely need a judge, such as those involving safeguarding concerns.

Do you have to mediate before court if there is domestic abuse?

No. Safety always comes first. Where there is evidence of domestic abuse, you do not have to attend a MIAM or attempt mediation, and you can apply to court directly. This was one of the central reasons the government decided against compulsory mediation. If safety is a concern in your situation, you should say so at the earliest opportunity, and you can claim the relevant MIAM exemption with supporting evidence.

How to try mediation before court

If you would like to resolve things without a hearing, the process is straightforward.

• Step 1: Book a MIAM, which is the meeting you need before applying to court anyway.
• Step 2: If your case is suitable and both of you are willing, move on to joint mediation sessions to work through the issues.
• Step 3: If you reach agreement, your mediator prepares the outcome documents, which can be made legally binding.
• Step 4: If mediation is not suitable or does not resolve everything, the mediator signs your MIAM certificate so you can apply to court, having shown you tried.

At Mediate UK, around 90% of clients who go on to joint mediation reach an agreement through our progressive mediation system, which is well above the national average. That keeps most families out of court entirely.

Frequently Asked Questions