Focus On The Positives
I made the decision this week to stop reading the negative press reports, Twitter accounts and Facebook posts and instead concentrate on the positives that have arisen from the Coronavirus pandemic.
I love the fact that more than three quarters of a million people volunteered to help the NHS; that people are applauding our key workers and there are numerous cases of humanity showing itself at its very best.
Mediate UK decided to contribute in a small way – we’re donating £20 to the Trussell Trust for every new mediation appointment booked in during the crisis. We have donated £240 to date and hope to reach £2,000 by the end of this. Each donation goes to fund desperately short Food Banks at this time of urgency.
If ever there was a time to act reasonably, in the greater good and considerately to others it is now, and this is of no less importance when dealing with disputes within your own family. I recently encountered a divorcee who had allowed her ex-husband to move back in to her house as he was a key worker and was living with his vulnerable parents. They both had new partners too!
Or the dad who was self-isolating with the children as he had symptoms of Covid-19 so he arranged for daily games with their mum on WhatsApp, Tic-Tok videos of the children dancing and ensured mum could read to the children via Facetime when they went to bed each night.
Drawing on ten years’ experience of dealing with families in disputes, and my own personal circumstances, I can assure you that the impact of seeing both mum and dad working together to tackle an issue has a far greater impact on the children when you are separated than when you are together. If you were previously unable to agree on matters, concede fairly or negotiate amicably on matters surrounding your children, now is the time to change that. The impact on the children, the wider family and your own well-being will be multiplied considerably at this time.
If you are struggling to agree on any matter at this time, whether parenting, financial or property, then mediation can really help. We have already helped many couples using Zoom and come to agreements on matters such as:
- Should I allow my ex to see the children if he is now living with a key worker?
- I am high risk and I need to isolate during this time, should the children still see the other parent?
- I don’t trust my ex-partner to keep to the safety advice given by Government. I want to keep them safe with me at this time
- My ex is a key worker so wants the children to still go to school. I can look after them instead as I think they would be safer with me. What can I do?
If you are struggling with a dispute, try one last time to reach out. Compromise where you can, take a ‘lose the battle to win the war’ approach and polish up your halo. Even if the other party rejects the approach or is still unreasonable, you will know that during the Covid-19 outbreak you did all you could to do the right thing for yourself, your children and your wider family.
Mediate UK are well poised to help you reach agreement on a multitude of parenting issues, and circumstances unique to your family situation.
Call us on 0330 999 0959 or email us firstname.lastname@example.org – we are ready to step in and help at this time.