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How to Conduct yourself in Mediation

How to Conduct Yourself in Mediation : 5 Tips to help you find your Future


Divorce or Separation can be a challenging process and finding an amicable resolution can be even tougher. Family mediation is a powerful tool that can ease the strain by providing a platform for constructive communication and compromise. In this blog, we’ll explore the importance of conducting yourself thoughtfully during family mediation, highlighting how it can make the process smoother and more effective.

1 – Keep your Emotions in Check

While divorce is inherently emotional, maintaining emotional control during mediation is key. Emotional outbursts can hinder productive communication. Take breaks if needed and return to the discussion with a calm and rational mindset.

Holding onto resentment only prolongs the process and makes it more difficult for all parties involved. Recognise that the mediator is there to facilitate communication, not take sides. Letting go of animosity can lead to more productive discussions.

Understandably, personal feelings may surface during mediation, potentially hindering progress. In these instances, seeking additional guidance from perhaps a divorce coach or a counsellor alongside mediation can help manage these emotions.

2 – Stick to the Issue at Hand

Family mediation is not a therapy session or an opportunity to rehash old arguments. Stay focused on the specific issues at hand, such as child arrangements, division of property, and financial arrangements.

Consider how the decisions made during mediation will impact you both moving forward. Remember that the goal is resolution, not retribution. The point is to work collaboratively towards resolving the current issues and concentrate on finding common ground.

3 – Be Open to Compromise

Approach family mediation with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. Be open to exploring alternative solutions that may differ from your initial expectations. Flexibility and a willingness to meet halfway can expedite the resolution process.

This involves actively listening to the other party’s suggestions and considering options that may not have been initially apparent. It’s about viewing the negotiation table as a space for innovation and creative problem-solving, where solutions can be tailored to address the unique circumstances of your family dynamic.

While certain expectations may exist, a willingness to adjust and adapt demonstrates a commitment to finding common-sense solutions. It involves a give-and-take mentality, understanding that compromise is a shared responsibility. The more flexible and adaptable both parties are, the smoother the negotiation process becomes.

4 – Communicate Effectively

Think of communication as a compass guiding your ship through the unpredictable seas of divorce. In this ocean of emotions and decisions, effective communication becomes your reliable navigation tool.

The mediator serves as a facilitator, creating a space for open communication. Practice active listening and articulate your thoughts clearly. Be transparent about your needs and concerns, refrain from interrupting, and ensure that both parties have an equal opportunity to voice their perspectives.

Remember, the goal is not just to speak but to be heard, and in this shared conversation, finding common ground becomes a collaborative effort that paves the way for a more amicable resolution process.

5 – Focus on the Future

While it’s essential to address current issues, keep an eye on the future. Consider how the decisions made during mediation will impact both parties moving forward. This forward-thinking approach can foster a more constructive and positive atmosphere.

Managing expectations is a key component of this journey. Understand that this is a shared responsibility and outcomes may not mirror ideal scenarios. Embracing a realistic perspective on what can be achieved ensures a smoother mediation process that is not only effective but also emotionally and practically sound.

By envisioning the long-term consequences of your choices, you empower the mediation process to serve as a blueprint for a future that is not only resolved but also resilient and amicable.



It Works if you Work it – Embrace the Process

Wooden,Blocks,With,An,Icon,Of,A,Woman, a, man, and, mediatorFamily mediation only works when both parties are willing to engage in open and honest communication. It’s about finding solutions that work for everyone involved, not just one side “winning.”  This stability becomes so important as individuals embark on new chapters in their lives.  Family mediation offers a multitude of benefits, giving out a positive outlet amid the challenges of divorce. Let’s take a closer look at those benefits:

Reduced Stress 

Mediation promotes open communication, providing a space for both parties to express their concerns and preferences in a controlled environment.


Participants actively engage in decision-making, fostering a sense of control over their own futures. This empowerment can significantly reduce the emotional toll of divorce.

Financial Efficiency

Family Mediation is generally more cost effective than traditional litigation. It avoids the exorbitant legal fees associated with courtroom battles, allowing resources to be allocated more sensibly, especially important when finances are already strained.


Family Mediation tends to be a swifter process, avoiding the prolonged timelines often associated with court proceedings. Quick resolution translates to less time spent navigating the legal system and more time moving forward.

Preserving Relationships

Unlike the adversarial nature of litigation, family mediation fosters a collaborative environment. This can be especially important when children are involved, as it helps maintain a more positive and cooperative co-parenting relationship, offering children the invaluable gift of stability and enhancing the overall well-being of the entire family unit.

Custom Solutions

Family Mediation allows for customised solutions that suit the unique needs of the family. This flexibility promotes a more positive outlook, as both parties are actively involved in crafting the terms of their agreement.

“Family mediation can be stressful. It can be difficult, challenging and sometimes uncomfortable to sit through. But it is an inherently decent and fulfilling process that helps many people overcome their personal issues.” – Ian Lovat, Head of Mediation, Mediate UK


Mediator Jenga BlocksThe bottom line is that family mediation isn’t just about reaching an agreement; it’s about forging a path toward a healthier, more sustainable future.  Approaching family mediation with the right attitude and a commitment to constructive communication can turn a challenging process into a more manageable and even positive experience.

By embracing the benefits, individuals can approach family mediation with a positive mindset, recognising that the journey toward resolution can be as important as the destination. In choosing mediation, you’re not just navigating a divorce; you’re crafting a blueprint for a more harmonious future.

Would you like to know how mediation can help you? Contact our Business Support Team today.

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