Can You Still Cite Adultery or Unreasonable Behaviour?

Adultery Divorce UK

If you have searched for adultery divorce UK hoping to find out how to name your spouse’s affair on a divorce application, the short answer is that you cannot. The old fault-based system is gone. Many people are still surprised to learn this, and it is one of the most common misunderstandings we hear from clients calling Mediate UK. The good news is that the modern process is simpler, kinder and far less likely to make an already painful situation worse. If you are at the very start of this journey, you may find our step-by-step guide for England and Wales a useful place to read first.

This guide explains exactly what changed, why it changed, whether behaviour still matters for finances or children, and what your options are when one partner feels deeply wronged by the other. We will also bust some of the most common myths we hear every week.

What Changed in April 2022?

Before 6 April 2022, you had to give the court a reason for your divorce. The five legal grounds were adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, two years’ separation with consent, or five years’ separation without consent. Most people who wanted a quick divorce had to choose adultery as grounds for divorce or, more commonly, unreasonable behaviour divorce, because they did not want to wait two or more years.

The system was widely criticised. Couples who had simply grown apart often had to list each other’s flaws on a public court document just to speed things up. This added conflict at the worst possible moment, made co-parenting harder, and frequently caused difficulty when later negotiating finances or arrangements for children.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 swept all of that away. Today, the only ground for divorce is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, and the applicant simply confirms this on the application. The court must accept the statement, and no evidence is required.

What this means in practice

• No blame: you do not need to accuse your spouse of anything.
• No defending: your spouse cannot contest the divorce except on very narrow legal grounds (such as the marriage not being valid).
• Joint applications allowed: you can apply together if you both agree the marriage is over.
• Minimum 26-week timetable: there is a 20-week reflection period before the conditional order, then six weeks before the final order.
• Plainer language: “decree nisi” became “conditional order” and “decree absolute” became “final order”.

Can You Cite Adultery in Divorce Today? The Honest Answer

No. The question “can you cite adultery in divorce” is one we are asked almost daily, and the answer is the same for every couple in England and Wales: the divorce application itself does not allow you to cite, prove or even mention adultery. The court is not interested in why the marriage ended, only that it has.

This is a deliberate change. No fault divorce adultery rules were designed to take the heat out of separation, so that couples can focus their energy on what really matters: sorting out finances, property and children. The Government’s own consultation found that fault-based divorce was making outcomes worse for families, especially children.

If you have started looking at how to apply for divorce on GOV.UK, you will see that the online form simply asks you to confirm that the marriage has broken down. There is no box to fill in for reasons, no place to upload evidence, and no opportunity to name a third party.

Does Behaviour Still Matter for the Financial Settlement?

This is where things get more nuanced. The divorce itself is no-fault, but the financial settlement is a separate process governed by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. Under Section 25 of that Act, the court must consider all the circumstances of the case, including the conduct of each party where, in the opinion of the court, that conduct would be inequitable to disregard.

The bar for conduct affecting finances is high. Adultery on its own almost never qualifies. The courts have consistently said that affairs, while painful, are part of the messy reality of marriage breakdown and not something to be punished financially.

When conduct can affect the settlement

The conduct argument tends to succeed only in cases involving:

• Financial misconduct: deliberately hiding, dissipating or transferring assets to avoid sharing them.
• Serious domestic abuse: where the abuse has had a measurable financial or health impact.
• Criminal behaviour: such as fraud, attempted murder, or violence against the other spouse.
• Reckless spending: gambling away large sums, or running up debts to harm the other party.

Affairs, leaving the marriage suddenly, or being a difficult partner do not, on their own, meet this bar. If you are unsure whether something might count as conduct in your case, it can be helpful to get focused legal advice early. To learn more about how the court weighs everything up, see our explanation of the Section 25 factors.

Unreasonable Behaviour Examples That Used to Be Cited

Under the old law, “unreasonable behaviour” was a catch-all category and the most common reason given for a quick divorce. The legal test was whether the petitioner could not reasonably be expected to live with the respondent. In practice, solicitors helped clients draft particulars that were just serious enough to satisfy the court but mild enough to avoid open warfare.

Typical unreasonable behaviour examples from the pre-2022 era included:

• Emotional withdrawal: the respondent showed no affection or interest in the marriage for an extended period.
• Financial control: refusing to share information about household finances or restricting access to money.
• Excessive working hours: prioritising work over family life despite repeated requests.
• Drinking, gambling or drug use: causing distress and affecting family life.
• Argumentative or critical behaviour: constant rows, shouting or belittling.
• Lack of intimacy: refusing all physical or emotional closeness.
• Serious abuse: which is now better handled through safeguarding routes rather than the divorce itself.

None of these can be cited on a divorce application today. If any of them sound familiar, please remember that you do not need to justify your decision to leave a marriage to anyone, including the court.

What About the Children? Does Adultery Affect Custody?

Family court decisions about children are guided by the welfare checklist in the Children Act 1989. The child’s welfare is the paramount consideration. Whether a parent had an affair is, by itself, almost never relevant.

What can matter is what happens around the affair. For example, if a new partner has a criminal record, a history of substance misuse, or any factor that could pose a risk to the child, the court will take that seriously. Equally, if a parent introduces children to a new partner in a way that is destabilising or hidden, the other parent may have legitimate concerns. None of this is about punishing infidelity. It is about keeping children safe and emotionally settled.

For most families, child arrangements are best worked out between the parents directly, with mediation as a calm middle ground when conversations have broken down. Our full guide to child arrangements covers what to think about and how the process works.

Adultery and Divorce UK: Common Myths Busted

Myth 1: “If I prove the affair, I’ll get more money.”

Almost never. As covered above, the financial settlement is decided on needs, contributions and the broader Section 25 factors. An affair, on its own, will not increase your share of the matrimonial pot. Spending money trying to prove it usually costs more than any benefit.

Myth 2: “My spouse can stop the divorce if I don’t agree to it.”

No. Under no-fault rules, the divorce cannot realistically be contested. The only narrow grounds for disputing it are jurisdiction, validity of the marriage, or fraud.

Myth 3: “Adultery is still a legal thing, even if I can’t put it on the form.”

Adultery is no longer recognised in divorce law in England and Wales. It has no legal effect on the process or, in most cases, on the outcome. It is a personal matter, not a legal one.

Myth 4: “I have to wait until I’ve moved out before I can apply.”

You do not. You can be living together and still apply for divorce. Many couples remain under the same roof during the 26-week process, particularly while housing decisions are being worked out.

Myth 5: “The divorce gives me my financial settlement.”

A common and important misunderstanding. The divorce only ends the marriage. To make the financial split legally binding, you need a separate financial consent order from the family court. Without one, your ex could come back years later and make a financial claim.

What If You Still Feel You Need Recognition of the Wrongdoing?

Many people understandably want a sense that their hurt is acknowledged. The law cannot give you that, but mediation can offer something the courts cannot. In a safe, structured setting, your mediator allows space for both sides to express how they feel. You will not be cross-examined or judged. You will be heard.

For some clients, simply having their spouse acknowledge what happened in a private mediation session has been more meaningful than any court order could have been. It is one of the quieter benefits of mediation that rarely gets talked about.

Sorting Out Finances After a No-Fault Divorce

Whatever caused the breakdown of your marriage, the financial settlement is the part of the process that will affect your day-to-day life for years to come. Most couples are better off keeping this out of court. Family mediation, followed by a consent order to make the agreement legally binding, is by far the most common path.

Mediation is voluntary and confidential. Both of you keep full control of the outcome. A trained, neutral mediator helps you work through what needs to be decided, including property, pensions, savings, debts and income. Mediation usually takes between three and five sessions to reach a written outcome, called a Memorandum of Understanding, which a solicitor can then turn into a binding court order.

If you are not yet sure whether mediation is right for you, the first formal step is to attend a MIAM. This is a confidential, individual meeting with a qualified mediator to talk through your situation and your options. There is no obligation to continue.

Frequently Asked Questions